Gosh, I love the apostle Paul! Here is a man without any tickets on himself. He has a true measure of his failings and the messy past from which he has come. However, here is also a man that has a complete understanding of the grace that he has received. In 1Cor 15:9-10 he comprehends fully both his humanity and the power of God’s redemption.
This is the beautiful tension that all Christians struggle with. We see with shame who we were and with a sense of awe who we have the potential to become through God’s redemptive power. We determine to apply ourselves with diligence to this process of change, but always acknowledge that it is through Him that this transition is accomplished.
Rest easy in knowing that even Paul worked though this tension, and the mere acknowledgment of the struggle shows a holy respect for the God that walks you through such a miraculous transformation